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| hey yalls, in the past days there has been a series of events that have taken place, and i have pictures to prove it. Hah! xb on friday, teresa left for aussie  imma miss her. we had a sort of farewell gathering for her at upperstar, i only went at 4pm(not so early) but we managed to take pictures and shit lah. :) i'm on her phone wallpaper!  (not sure if it's still there. she probably exchanged it for something less retarded.) yeah & fay drew her this card. it was nice. fay draws nice stuff ;D hahaa. then after 6, terri went home, but us being fatasses, you know, emily max ronald and all, we ventured out to seek the all famous coffee bean. heheh. in school uniform lagi tu. punya bidah. eheh.heh. oh then on saturday it was hajar's birthday. me sofia audz and kunz kap qian to buy her perfume :) oh oh oh & so much drama, so little time. and so small a mouth to gossip. sigh.  hahaha no lah, im not a major bitch. just that i te-rasa like a part of it, and despise that particular fact of what happened. for more information, please refer to anyone in ai ban who would feel free to fill you in.  but all in all, we managed to fulfill the tradition of creaming the birthday girl, and also take pics and all that. fay & emily also went. i kinda miss them. them and their gayness.(like the real homo gay, as emilay put it ) :s  emily so gemuk.  hehehee. people in white.    left: monkeys. far left: sofiazz; left: the gays. and the hawts.  itu dia, gerald, birthday girl(wet), yunyi & averyl
OH on sunday we had ah seng's farewell party!! it was at nelayan there in bukit padang. i thought the whole science stream would be going, so expected a crowd. but only a few turned up, but that was okay cuz it became like a real noisy fellowship haha doih. the boys were a bunch of fatasses maan. ronald didn't eat lunch cuz he wanted his whole 30 bucks worth of steamboat us girls were like looking on, and we were so sakai when it came to frying the meat on the aluminium thingy. hahaha. darren almost drank chicken soup water cuz he thought it was chinese teh after daryl put it in the jug. almost. hehe.i also created a new word, "bao" as in "pecah", not "full", cuz my han yu pinyin is officially retarded and also a new slang. heee. we yam cha really loud. take picture very ss. eat the whole restaurant. bet you the staff weren't happy man. But we were, so who cares! xD i like my class. hee. 
all the ladies with junoseng lol 
the whole lot. our table is actually bigger in reality than it seems. :o   yikes. lupa mana janice. itu dia! eh. i look effing cinabeng. sakai chopsticks.   Rens! makan till kenyan man that night. togetherness in food! the guys kept giving us raw chicken and beef. gargh. i had to re-cook it :p   i sorta saw ken lu in a different light. omg daryl so cina!!
he was really helpful when it came hahahaha.
to cooking  noob oh he. :pp  <<< us acting sad. cuz ah seng's leaving. hahahaa
oh i do have a word or two;
don't diss the crowd cuz you ain't in it. | | |
| dark blue dark blue have you ever been alone in a crowded room? did i tell you i'm in a book club? :p i thought it only appropriate to start with that to update you on the normal side of my life. it's called bukks club. kimberly's our new member. we have a profile book full of shit. we read porn books. hahaha. teacher's day is tomorrow, i stayed back today fulfilling my responsibilities as a effing programmer decorating the bloody class. No sweat. singing competition finals are tomorrow. i hope i won't have a frog in my throat. i think i left cikgu evelyn's card in class. that or i dropped it somewhere. if it's lost i'm so fucked. either way i haven't wrapped it yet. i need to remind the class to freeze tomorrow. am i going to skip bm tution? yes i am. I'm quiting like it or not, folks. when is the next badminton practice? i dont know if im going for quan guo du zhong badminton. haha i am a ke le fe. WE WERE MEANT TO LIVE FOR SO MUCH MORE. HAVE WE LOST OURSELVES. i'm exhausted. i'll be back, now the world seems to be spinning around me. fucking tv is loud, cant hear what i wanna type out. i have a curfew for my computer. which ends now. | | |
| see, i knew blogging was addictive. gargh. but now, since the last few days were really good, i've decided this post would be more on the normal side, and i won't mention much about feelings and shit  well last few weeks when i've been attending the Yellow River Cantata(YRC) practices in tshung tsin and kian kok music room, i was thinking to myself, whatthehell have i gotten myself into?? there were oldies everywhere, chinese speaking oldies mind you. didnt have a person my age, and the whole damn concert was in chinese. but that was yesterday's story. on the second week of practice, i met this thirty-some adult called cindy who was really nice. the oldies were starting to warm up to me too, and even though i kept telling them i was a Lower chinese and my chinese sucked, they kept conversing with me in chinese. ah well. i thank the lord that my chinese can be considered OK for someone who didnt know a single word of the chinese vocabulary three and a half years ago. anywho, after a week lagi, i met this 15 yearold girl called brenda. from lok yuk. she was real nice, and thank god she spoke english. and she kept hitting me everytime i said "oh my God". sorry honey, it's a habit i just absolutely simply cannot break. it's such a relief now to be able to say OMG without her reminding me not to. hahaha im so evil, but anhows she was real friendly and at least i had a friend. there was also this guy frm my school named peter, frm j3 xiao. koolio. i didnt know he existed. :p only on the second last day of pracice, which was rehearsal, i actually truly had fun and realised the whole Huang He program was such a great exposure. After the practice at kian kok, i was supposed to follow sook peng back, but she told me to follow cindy. she was talking to a few other guys(working adults bah) when she turned to me and was like, "can you go for drinks now? Does your mum allow?" and for me, i was dumbstrucked. it was 10pm and my mum would be at home waiting, and i had to trust my instincts on my decision to make. DUH. i said i could.  after all, my mum knew they were oldies here, and she knew i was following someone home. so i SMSed her saying i would be home late cuz cindy had to send a few people home. which was half true. i decided i would tell her the whole truth later, after the drinks. so that was the decision. so i followed cindy's car which Terence drove to damai. peter was at the back seat with me, and i sort of struck conversation lah. so it wouldnt seem so akward. so i asked him, did he take part in the tshung tsin singing competition and he was like yeah, and also made it to the finals. and he asked me and i was like yeay, me too. good also lah, to make a new junior friend. So charles met up, and i could catch a hint of cigarette, but other than that, they were all really awesome adults. the only thing was they were all speaking cantonese and mandarin, and i could understand but couldn't converse. sudahlah im a stranger, they must think im shy or LC or sumtin. gargh. screw my lack of chinese vocabulary. but the memories were unforgettable as unforgettable would get, having drinks near midnight with strangers whose names i only knew on that day and learning to boost my confidence by speaking sucky chinese and learning to laugh at myself. thanks to god for helping me say yes to cindy when i thought that going with the flow would bring consequences like holding my drink by myself at the table and mum shouting at me for lying to her when she found out i went to damai. THANK GOD none of that happened. :) the next day there was full dress reharsal at Yayasan Sabah. by that time, i sort of knew a few of the people, after all the practices within 2 months. like that Henry, old balding guy. hahahahaha. and umm jane, welton's mum, THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST PART. but she was kool lah, so yeah. and many others lah. cool old people. no one mess with me yo, i got a whole back up of adults ranging form senile to young adults working in palm square to help me out after the rehearsal, i was following cindy home when terence wanted to go eat. he said he hasnt eaten from breakfast. "Rice! i want rice. i havent eaten rice since morning you know." hahah. so peter, cindy and I followed in his 4 wheel drive to a bak kut teh shop in town. again, my parents didn't know this, they just thought i would be going home. so i decided again, i'll go with the flow. but his time, i'll inform my folks. thank god my parents are understanding enough and caring enough just to ask who i'm going with where and thats about it. :) i knew my parents were kool. So what was supposed to be a drive home at 6.30 became another fellowship eating dinner till 8. terence paid the bill(RM41). so awesome lah these people. they hardly know me and are willing to bring me along in ther daily food fest. this is one bunch of fatass people. damn, i fit in just fine. :p so i learned about his company and a few cantonese word like 'mo' and 'bo' and eeyma or something like that. HAHAH. so on The Day, there were VIPs everywhere like yee moh chai and whatstheirnames. yee moh chai's wife actually asked me "you also singing ah?" when i stood up to shake their hands and i was like hahah, yeah i am. lawl. indian girl singing in a chinese choir. so ironic kan. well the whole night was awesome. i made a few mistakes with the wordings when it was the choir's turn but hey, you only live once so whattheheck. after that the choir members and the orchestra got free food in @mposphere. my mum followed, and we ordered meat cuz the only provided us with mee & lameass veggie curry  lawl. free food. pshh. 
thats brenda :) she doesn't like makeup. 
me, lim cheng hock(three tenors), sookpeng and armando chin(three tenors) 
me & teacher phoon sook peng. 
<christy, me, my mum, brenda, pam> after counting the donation boxes  
christy's from seychelles island. she's married to a british cook. she's crazy.  
this is the free food. it might look good, but don't be decieved. it's just terung curry. :p  three tenors, sookpeng, yap ling, grace lee & the choir. 
lonzes, from left to right: lalitha, kunya, jamie, audrey and sofia. okay, i know that picture has nothing to do with Huang He Da He Chang. but on the concert day afternoon, i went out with the lonzes. i asked a security guard to take the picture(explains the blurness of the pic) and he was soo nervous HAHAHA. lawl he was like "yes, very pretty, cantik cantik" in broken english HAHAhaha lol. it was a fun afternoon. we were supposed to meet up with kunya but we sort of forgot about her till 3pm, which I reminded sofia about. we found about her in times bookstore, and she didnt call us cuz she had no credit & we kept on apologizing to her hahaah sorry kunya xD tomorrow school starts. half of me says fuck and the other half says whew. | | |
| okay, so i'm back. i think blogging might be addictive, and once that starts, dayemn that's dangerous. I think blogging at night is the only way to get my thoughts out, otherwise it's stuck in me, and my fingers just cannot fucking move to type for my life. hey, i tried. In the morning, while the sun is rising; the afternoon when my maid's cooking sawi or my brother's watching tv; even in the evening when my mum's upstairs and my brother is quiet. I CANNOT BLOG IN THE DAY.  solitary confinement. btw, i didn't edit this icon or anything i found it like that. there's an annoying mosquito here. sudahlah it's so stuffy downstairs in the middle of the night, this damn mosquito had to appear. it just took it's own short life into its hands then.(or antenna or whatever). other than that, i had an interesting day. i'm proud to say my parents are, umm, informative, to say the least.(read talkative, strange, atheist-like, extraterrestrial beings). overload from information can happen when you sit in a car too long with them, absorbing their weird tactics and speeches. at least they aren't boring or dumb. My dad says there's this book called "If you meet Bhudda on the road, kill him." imma look for that book. my post today now will have something to do with that book. the book's supposed to tell humans that only themselves can find true God, and don't let anyone else tell you how. i wanted to type in something much more, but it's lost in my head. words fail me. which is why again, i dont write blogs. thinking to much drives me into depression, and i don't wanna go there again. i have to stop. this might get addictive. solitude tempts room for you to break down and release. the whole world is watching you, even when you think you're alone. | | |
| call me a hypocrite if you want, but when the mood strikes, it strikes hard. dude! i can't help the fact that i am able to keep my feelings and thoughts inside. only when i feel like i have something really really really urgent to tell the world, then i turn to my blog. otherwise, uhuh. i'm sorry i don't provide ilicit and vivid detail to all the happening stuff in my life. i can't help being so wanted all the time ya know. (prasan moment. i'm spending to much time with lonzes bras and skirts ) so yeah. what made the mood strike this time? well, i was reading other people's blogs, and there were some seriously down-dated ones, which made my attention-deprived blog look absolutely hip. so i decided, hey, you know what? i'll give my blog another chance. so yeah, i'm back with more rantings, if you care to read on. if you are still reading from this point onwards, i have to say i'm quite flattered. (wait, no, don't stop) lately, alot of stuff have been happening. well, that statement was quite redundant. duhh stuff are happening. well no. other stuff, stuff mashed with feelings and activities and studies and shit. after reading a certain someone's blog, i realised how half of the year has passed so damn fast. and i can't recall much good times, only tiny bits and pieces; and few large ones, like the whole stretch of sports day. other than that, it makes me really miss my old friends last year in the old ren(although i love my new class to bits), and i can't help but wonder why i'm feeling so distant. So far, exam results are a disaster, don't know why. i don't get it, i've always been able to pull up by just studying really last minute. i guess times change. real general knowledge don't matter these days, it's how much you can stuff into your damn brain. sighh. i'm such a sore loser(ala: result failer.) & it's not just the results. heck, results slone can't make me fall into depression. it's just..everything now. it's hard to find good people. it's hard to stick around with people who are just beginning to realise themselves or grow up and know how the world works, when you're already on track to view and search the world, when you're foot is already on the front porch waiting to step down. it's hard to find great people. i'll miss them. and the stuff happening these days are so...distant. i can't find another word for it. my guitar is my only solace.(well, other stuff too, but guitar looks better typed.) it's really.sad.and.unbelievably.eye-opening.itmakesme.so.. i've been there, honey. denying that anyone has ever been through what you're experiencing now is a natural part of it. it's all part and parcel of becoming who you are. it makes me miss the old days. it makes me sigh. it makes me hold my breath, smile wider, listen closer, pretend longer and stay stronger. Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself, the outcome feels the same
I've been thinkin maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast, and maybe all my lucks washed down the drain Stars lookin at our planet watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking bout the meaning of resistance, of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent begin to look like home but when i look at the stars i feel like myself stars By switchfoot | | |
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